A Long Time Coming

So once again I am horrible at keeping up with this little blog but at least I'm updating it now. Right? Anyways so much has happened in my life since my last entry I just don't know where to start! I guess I can start by saying that I have finally gotten to a place in my life where I can be happy and so grateful for what I have been blessed with. During the last couple of months I have made a lot of changes in my life and I couldn't be happier. I hope this happiness lasts for quite some time because I honestly forgot how it felt to be happy and I am loving every minute of it. Looking back to a couple of months ago I can see just how amazing God has been working in my life. I asked for guidance, for happiness, for changes in my life, and that is exactly what He gave me. Some of the choices may have been hard but I know and trust that His plan is greater than what I planned for myself. By putting everything in God's hands I am now at this amazing place in my life. I hate to say it but I have found that since I have been given this happiness I find myself praying less and less. I kills me knowing how selfish and caught up in my own life I can get. Once I got what I wanted I went about my merry way enjoying my life. My goal for this week has been to be less selfish and caught up in worldly things and focus more on my relationship with God and helping it grow even more than it has the past couple of months. I don't want to be that selfish person that I have found myself to be. Another part of me is scared that all this happiness will soon lead to some sadness. It just seems wrong for me to be this happy. Of course I have my days where I want to do nothing but cry but I don't want get caught up in my sadness. I shouldn't feel sorry for myself. I should rejoice over how far I have come. If God throws something else my way, I know I will be able to handle it because after these past months I have become so strong. I may not be able to immediately handle it, but I'll be able to put up a darn good fight. No one lives a perfect life and yes I know that there is sadness ahead in my life, but I'm just scared. And who wouldn't be? No one likes to be upset. No one likes to be in pain. And for sure no one wants to have to say good bye to their best friend forever. But that's just it. It is not forever. I know that one day I will see Josh again and until that day his memory will always be with me and I have the best guardian angel anyone could ask for. God has helped me thus far and I know He will continue to walk beside me on this journey because He is the only one that knows the way. Peace. Love. Semper Fi.